Or maybe I could log on on drugs. So then I have been doing much of nothing much – working. Besides this there is the generic and the non-generic but only as an idea for which no example has yet been found – the idea exists and certain individuals embody more or less of this idea or are more affected or less effected.
Or also there is the mailbox which could be checked, the thought of tobacco which makes one feel ill, dizzy, etc.
So there you have it. Today I will work starting at 4:00 finishing sometime near 11:00 that all in the P.M. Tomorrow I will also work – but earlier during the day.
Nothing in the mail today but notices for bounced checks – I will also need to go to Hastings to return overdue movie.
…
Now back from work, still haven’t returned overdue movie, work tomorrow again, then work and more work. Now listening to Beethoven and haven’t seen Immortal Beloved not now having any desire to do so.
“But what do you want?”
What is important to me? Immortal to me… Mainly to compile all of the writing I have been doing over the past three and a half years of so into a cohesive form. The halogen lamp is buzzing. Turn it up and it doesn’t make as much noise. Depression is not a bad thing – more a necessary thing.
I’ve been reading Nightwood – Djuna Barnes. A compact. I can think mush faster than I talk – also write much more clearly what I think – conversations remain muddled and incomplete.
Tags: bounced checks, depression, Djuna Barnes, idea, Immortal Beloved, lamp, Nightwood
